That Didn't Come Out Right...

Language learning is a _____ process. Fill in the blank - if you've never learned another language, try to imagine it... yourself, a competent adult, able to do things like order in a restaurant, express an opinion, ask for directions, call the cable guy... and then put yourself in a place where NOTHING is familiar, save signs for things like Coke and Levis and the occasional smash-up word like googlear (the act of googling, I kid you not).

Now, I've been in this process for 8 years now... yes, count them, 8... and I have learned a lot. I'm actually quite capable in my adopted tongue. But there are days when absolutely nothing comes out right! Most of the time I know it's me, that I'm having a "boca gringa" day (the days when my pronunciation is laughable), that I'm not coming up with the right words. Then there are days when I promise you, it is not me, it's them....

The other day I was in a coffee shop for a meeting (all meetings require caffeination, right?). Not to brag, but I know what I'm doing when it comes to ordering coffee. This is not a problem area for me. And so I waited at the counter for the guy to quit messing around and pay attention. I was a little annoyed, but whatever. So... I ordered my coffee. It wasn't even elaborate, it was just a plain latte with skim milk. The guy looked at me as if I were speaking Martian or Chinese or something. He repeated back to me an order I never even thought of making, with flavors and who knows what. I calmly (counting under my breath) repeated my quite simple order in a clear, slow voice. He repeated back to me... something else entirely, different from the first and definitely not what I had said. His co-worker corrected him, repeating what I had said. He turned and looked at me with this confused look on his face, and right then and there I had a very unholy moment.

The things is, I'm usually fairly confident in my language skills. But days like that make me wonder... I'm currently studying for a big competency exam mid-November, and I have my rock star days and my Napoleon Dynamite days. I want to know everything - all the vocabulary, why they use this word this way one day and another way the next, the culturally loaded meanings behind things, how to write and speak in such a way that no one suspects I wasn't born with this gift... I know that herculean task is impossible, but I'd like to know enough to at least have a rock star day at test time.

So, I keep turning on the radio and reading the newspaper and watching the sitcoms. I bug my friends incessantly with the whys and the whats and the how comes. I take the plunge and say stuff and laugh along when it comes out so lame. And then I just shrug and say, "That didn't come out right..." and start again...